Dear Agony Aunt

Dear Agony Aunt, This girl I used to go out with keeps following me around and telling me how much she loves me. I have told her that I don’t love her and that I am actually in love with her best friend but she won’t give up. She says she is ‘sick’ when she is away from me and that she wants to be my ‘spaniel’. How can I make it clear to her that I’m just not interested? Demetrius x


  1. But if I'm right in saying, the girl that you are chasing after is already in love. Leave that lady be, and be grateful that someone is pining for you in such a way. But if you really can't stand this girl, then carry on refusing her, but do so gently. But you've gone out with her before... surely you must have some feelings for her still...? (by Anon.)

  2. Give up on Hermia because she is in love Lysander. Then if he doesnt want to be with Helena she should let him down gently. (by Anon.)

  3. Think about how she feels, and how YOU would feel if put in a similar situation. If you really do not love her any more tell her outright what you feel; and if she persists, consider outside involvement? There's a difference between love and obsession! (by Anon.)

  4. You should understand that Hermia and Lysander are in love, and so shouldn't get in their way. You should be grateful that Helena still loves you, despite your treatment towards her. You should definitely give Helena another chance and leave Hermia and Lysander to lead the life they please.

  5. Be friendly but fierce. She should eventually get the message if you keep on telling her you don't love her but you like someone else. If she doesn't try to avoid her. Don't talk to her and act as if she isn't there. This should stop her from loving you. (by Izzy)

  6. Talk to her, you have to understand what Hermia is going through... I know that you "love" her and all but give Helena another chance! (From H)

  7. Just say to Helena you love me but the thing is i DONT love YOU..... im sorry dear helena but you are just NOT the one for ME and i think that HERMIA is. So Sorry! (From Jade)!

  8. This must be a difficult problem as she seems ignorant to your warnings and signs of the simple fact that you do NOT have any feelings for her. Consider all your options and an angelic beam shall shine on relevent and most useful option to lead your way. (by Sky)


  10. I met you in the coffee bar last Friday by chance at the Globe and I thought you looked troubled. No matter my students will help you Lysander. We will take you both back to our schools in Service Children's Education and then you can escape your problems for a while...have some time out of the forest it will do you good! x

    • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
    • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
    • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit; / For I am sick when I do look on thee.


Relationship Status:

Loves Hermia, then Helena


I am Demetrius, an Athenian man who is in love with Hermia. However, I have a rival in this love, Lysander, and although Hermia's father wants me to marry her, she hates me and loves him. When Helena tells me that Hermia and Lysander have eloped into the forest, I quickly follow. I am also pursued by Helena who loves me but who I detest. After waking from a sleep I suffer a change of heart and love Helena instead of Hermia, fighting with Lysander now over the love of her. Fortunately, when morning comes, Lysander falls back in love with Hermia and so I am left to love Helena alone.



Fighting with Lysander




Also Called:

  • ‘a worthy gentleman’ (Theseus. 1.1.52)
  • ‘a disdainful youth’ (Oberon. 2.1.261)

O wall, O sweet, O lovely wall

  1. (1.1.110) This spotted and inconstant man.

  2. (2.1.195-98) You draw me, you hard-hearted adamant - / But yet you draw not iron, for my heart / Is true as steel. Leave you your power to draw, / And I shall have no power to follow you.

  3. (2.1.203-7) I am your spaniel; and, Demetrius, / The more you beat me, I will fawn on you. / Use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me, / Neglect me, lose me; only give me leave, / Unworthy as I am, to follow you.

  4. (3.2.413-16) He goes before me, and still dares me on; / When I come where he calls, then he is gone. / The villain is much lighter-heeled than I: / I followed fast; but faster he did fly.


  1. Clip 1

    Richard James-Neale discusses his initial impressions of Demetrius. > Play
  2. Clip 2

    Richard talks about playing Demetrius in rehearsals. > Play